where the colours are

My first walks alone in pakistan were guided mainly by my own insecurity. Where is it ok to go? How should I act and what should I wear? How shall I react on staring or on approaches by men? Are there areas that aren't safe to go as a single female?

To be honest: I was thrown back onto my own role as a young western, fair skinned, blonde woman. I felt uneasy walking the street and had a constant tension in myself. How to behave, what to wear, where to look or where not.

Buying a shalwar kamize (the local dress) helped a lot as I felt I could hide a bit in it and blend in. Although there is no general rule in Pakistan to wear a head scarf, it sometimes helped to put a scarf over my hair (a „dupata“), so that not everyone from the far can see the blonde shine of hair. (In the first weeks until I came to Islamabad and met some travellers I didn't see any person with blonde hair!).

But there are some other things that helped me understand and get along. A friend of mine told me: „No matter what you wear, if it is with long or short sleeves, if your trousers cover your ankles or not: wear a loose piece of cloth, a scarf or something like this over your brest. This will make the conversation with people and especially men easier and more respectful.“

Pakistani streetlife is maledominated. In some cities or even just areas of a city you might feel it stronger in others lesser. So how do I know where to go and where not? „Look if there are women. When there are local females in the park or in the street, you can go there aswell.“ another couchsurfer lectured me.

How do you find out if there are women in the street or just men at the first glance? You look for the colours. Men usually wear white, brown or grey. Women dress up in bright colours, the shalwar kamiz mostly come in one colour with the fitting dupata (scarf).

Another beautiful thing I've learned: it's safe where the colours are!