Iranians are said to be the most hospitable people ever. And -in my experience- they are kind of untoppable with this. Getting invited for a tea or for food was something I was used to in Turkey, as the hospitality already amazed me a lot. But there's something special in Iran, which -once you have discovered it- gives you a lot of stuff to talk about with Iranians themselves, as everyone's attitude towards it, is different.
TA'AROF is the magical word for an attitude, a habit, a certain gesture towards guests.
What is ta'arof?
It can come across in various forms.
The first striking moment might be, if an iranian friend or host gets you from the airport or bus station and offers you to drive his or her car. After refusing (because you might know or you have heard about the horrific traffic you can get caught in), you'll be asked again. Three times.
Or you want to pay, but the salesmen or taxi driver refuses and says, that you can take it (the clothes or the ride) for free. What? You might think and ask again. But they insist, that you don't need to pay. Of course, they'll want you to pay, but these forms are a kind of ta'arof.
Ta'arof can come in many different forms. These two mentioned are just the most obvious forms. Others might be, that they'll never let you pay the meal until you really strongly insist upon, or that you'll be always the first person to go through a door. Sometimes being asked again and again and again if you don't want to eat more or if you would like to have a water or, that they can organise wine just because you mentioned that you like to drink wine in Europe, all of this CAN be ta'arof. But it doesn't need to be.
That's the confusing part of it. Sometimes I couldn't distinguish whether it was ta'arof or a real offer. And even my iranian friends got sometimes caught in a ta'arof trap, when they didn't see that an offer was a ta'arof and they should have been refsusing it politely.
In the bigger cities most of the people used to tell me: „I'll not ta'arof you. It is old fashioned and just people in the smaller towns or villages still do it. Make yourself comfortable and just feel at home.“
But to be honest: being out of Iran I started missing the teasing and joking about and the acting in and with ta'arof. And I have to smile, remembering a friend in Tehran teasing me as I was offering her tea two times. She told me: „Now you're an iranian! Stop ta'arof-ing me!“
Keine Kommentare:
Kommentar veröffentlichen